How Do We Come Home?Jun 30, 2023
A few weeks ago I was driving (ironically) home and felt displaced. Uprooted. Untethered. I felt mild panic and disorientation, as though everything in my life was terrifyingly fragile and transient.
After taking inventory of what was going on in my life, including any potential stressors, I realized that so much of my life at this given point in time is new, uncertain, and very much temporary.
Our physical (rental) home, however lovely and comforting, is probably not our forever home.
My young kids punctuate time with their growth and development, highlighting its frighteningly fleeting nature.
I am going through a significant career transition.
It’s no surprise that things felt unsettled and impermanent. But newness, transition, and change have all historically been exciting, motivating factors for me. Signals that evolution and growth are coming.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what Home means, and I concluded it transcends geography. We change homes. Our kids WILL grow up and (likely) leave the nest. We change jobs. These comforts are building blocks of our lives, but they usually evolve.
So, how do we regain footing?
We focus on things we CAN influence. For me, these critical pillars are Love, Ritual, Setting, and Self.
Love travels everywhere we go, and nothing defines home more for me than being with those I love. Strong interpersonal relationships not only support our overall wellness but also tether us to our values. Nourishing my relationships, whether with my children or my friends, makes me feel rooted and at peace. Have that phone date. Send that email or, better yet, a “Just Because” card.
Simple daily rituals are the framework of our lives, much like the frame of a physical home. Whether it’s my morning oat milk mocha or chipping away at my to-do list, these sometimes mundane exercises are FAMILIAR and IMPORTANT to me. Honoring our smallest rituals, whether from home or an Airbnb will help maintain some consistency and familiarity in life.
The qualities of our physical setting can bear a great impact on how settled we feel. When we lose our footing in daily life, recalling the elements of home that we value can revive that settled feeling. For me, candles, flowers, fresh air, music, and directional tidiness do the trick.
Finally, and perhaps the most important, self. What nourishes you physically, gratifies you mentally, and pacifies you emotionally and spiritually? Self-care is personal. It can be morning cold plunges, evening walks, a pedicure, or prayer. Tending to ourselves is paramount because Home begins with Self.
The power to re-ground is entirely within us. Home is simply where WE are — where we love, nurture, play, laugh, cry, struggle, and overcome. It can be where we hurt but also where we heal. This is what makes it our cocoon and why life is so beautiful.